insight

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. -Anne Morrow Lindbergh

We live in a world of constant communication. Cell phones, blackberries, text messaging, pages, quick snatches of gossip at the office. It is ever-present, active, sometimes engaging, and draining. There are times when dealing with the trivial minutiae of life is easiest or best, but it also remains superficial.

And then there are times when we can really engage one another. I read an article recently discussing the Founding Fathers and lamenting the lack of this type of leadership and character in our present society. Where are the Washingtons, Franklins and Adams of our day? They occupied an unprecedented time, assuming the true inheritance of the Enlightenment. With voices sharpened by friction against the ideas of their peers, they proclaimed a new world from the hilltop of freedom. I know of a law professor who hosts gatherings at his home at which his students share wine and readings of the Federalist Papers. Seriously, doesn’t that sound like a good time?

I wonder if sometimes I live in a world where the two are confused, trivial conversation and interpersonal depth. To me, an engaging conversation is one in which personal passions are aroused. I defend my point and you defend yours, and we'll see whose argument carries the day. An outside observer might label this debate, and consider it impersonal. Our human mentality more often than not leaves us put off by those who differ with us, to a degree proportional to the extremity of argument. The employ of passion must be tempered by the calculations of a rational mind. This presents a slippery slope as one can err too far to either side; heated hostility against cold logic. Neither extreme allows one to derive joy from friendship.

As it turns out, I write about two types of “stimulating” conversation. Were we to only seek depth of argument, we would be deluded that any real friendship develops. Relationship is not built upon ideas, but rather on shared human experience. I do not wish to detract from the benefits of debate within a relationship; rather, I intend that there must first be a foundation of mutual understanding, compassion, and acceptance.

While my thoughts were largely spurred by the Lindbergh quote, I also subtly reference a conversation from Tuesday night in which I found depth of insight, disclosure, and greater understanding of the person across form whom I sat.

I simply do not have enough of that in my life. Removed from the academic setting, there are few opportunities for leisurely discussions concerning the philosophy of life, love, and the human condition. More than anything else, I long for deep discussion. And yet, this is only a sign of something more profound: the human need to know and be known.

Coffee and good friends both serve to abbreviate sleep. Although, only one can serve this function at the arrival of morning.