tumult

My mind is split into seventeen hundred pieces right now.  I want to change an aspect of my life, but really have no sense about how to execute that change.  My mind is spinning off questions at an accelerated rate, and many of them cannot be satisfactorily answered by my limited experience, especially in areas in which I am not confident in my intuition.  This necessitates a third party, which is always a good idea when concepts are too personal to be considered objectively.  But to whom should these questions be posed?  With whom have I established trust that might also have authority, wisdom, and discernment?

I am weary of attempting discussion through the vagaries of abstract thought.  The freedom of expression through concrete details and clear concept is something I greatly desire.  Over the course of my life, I've attributed value to expressing personal information through a series of logical gates.  A thought transferred through this process arrives stripped of personally identifiable information.  My hope is that it retains sufficient information to be of analytical value in the outside world.  It is not only that I don't want to expend effort in this instance, but much more so that it would destroy even the purpose for expression.

It is not lost on me that most would read this and say, "Out with it, man!  Life is too short for such silliness."  It is a stance against which I have increasingly little defense.  Regardless, I seek a clear mind.  Before my arrival in the harbor of restive thought, however, I must devise a course across an unknown sea.  It is my hope that I will soon receive guidance not in the creation of this course, but for the method by which such can be developed.