Assuming that eyes still at times fall on this blog...
I want you to think about something. This will require a certain degree of introspection and personal candor, but I want you to deeply contemplate what I'm asking nonetheless. This is an issue that comes up again and again among certain people, and those people and their witnesses point it out and laugh. It is an anxious laugh, one that is self-conscious and eager to both get past the issue and pretend that it never really existed.
How many people are inside you? No, really, this is the question. Do you find that you and your life are dominated by a singular inner personality, and are therefore led by one voice? Or, do you find that there are competing desires, perceptions, resolutions, courses of action, and (dare I use the word) voices, all of which require you to discern the best decision possible in that moment?
I know you're thinking, "Okay, enough of the Cybil talk." But, I really am curious about the distribution of these two modes of being. I confess that I am the latter, and that, at any given time, there are several threads of thought processed through individual worldviews. As such, I appreciate, and even envy, those whose decisions are instantaneous and mark a paucity of hyperanalytical predilection.
Inside there are the historian and SysAdmin, Raskolnikov and Val Jean, Paul and Thomas, the romantic and the cynic, the extravert and the reserved, compassionate and apathetic, bold and fearful, and other voices that defy definition.
Perhaps you consider these merely facets of one whole. It helps me to personify them; to allow each an opportunity to explain their presence and declare their desires. It could be one will say something I've never heard before. It could be I should only listen to the loudest one.
No comments:
Post a Comment